Crisis Alert!

This week has been slightly difficult.  Supposively, it takes 21 days  to start a new habit.  Week 1 is Introduction- that was last week for me. It was all fun, new and exciting. Week 2 is Resistance, which inevitably is the biggest challenge of a new habit. I am now definitely feeling theses resistances. It probably isn’t helping that I haven’t been getting enough sleep, but I am craving candy, cookies, brownies like whoa. Seriously, don’t come in my vicinity eating chocolate or I might attack.  Tired, sore and hungry- that is all I am feeling right now. I can’t remember the last day I took off from working out.  I am not doing it on purpose either….trust me, I know the importance of rest. I just have a hard time saying no and an equally hard time of not pushing myself. Today I have reached my limit though….I am planning on going home and taking a very long nap followed by chillaxing and absolutely no excercise 🙂

Now, besides the diet struggle I am facing now, I have another crisis at hand- the competition suit. Yes, I have thought about it, but it has not really sunk yet that in a few months I am going to be walking around front of tons of people in something about the size of a handkerchief. And the shoes- well we’re not even going there. (If you know me, you know that I am not exactly the most graceful person.) So this suit- not too much material there, and definitely not something I plan on wearing a whole hell of a lot. LA told me about a website that sells some for pretty decent prices so I started researching and found this:

I absolutely love the color and the style…trouble is that it costs freaking $450! I found some others that I liked, but they are about the same price range. I refuse to look cheap in my hooker heels and spray-on tan, but at the same time I don’t want to pay half a grand for something for something that barely covers my ass  (too detailed? sorry…).

Hmm, anyone know any good seamstresses??

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Today I was pretty productive.  After the morning session, I decided to go to the grocery store and cook in bulk, so I wouldn’t have to spend so much time planning my meals through the week. Like I said, the diet is the biggest challenge for me so I am really trying to spice it up so I don’t go crazy. After some fun experimentation, I found myself to be pretty successful 🙂

Experiment 1: Egg Whites

If you read my diet for the first 2 weeks, you will realize that I am consuming an ungodly amount of egg whites. Not only is a lot egg-eating, but it is also a lot of egg-buying which can turn out to be a burden on the budge. Fortunately, my friend Matt suggested I buy eggs and just separate the yolks. My initial response was something like hell no, that is way too much work, but after some after making a quick little excel spreadsheet, I realized I would be wasting a lot more money than time if I stuck with these egg white cartons – savings of $7.73/week- that is $401.96 per year! (based on $4.35 for a 32 oz carton of egg whites and a $2.39 for the 18 pack of whole eggs).


Now, once I completed the egg yolk separation, my next challenge was to figure out what to do with all these yolks. (I couldn’t just throw them away while I was on this saving streak!) Solution… it. Here’s what I found:

Eww gross- who the hell would put egg yolks in their hair?? Umm, this girl, and guess what I now have awesome voluptuous hair I am going to be flipping and twirling all week. Not really, but I do feel better about myself for not trashing them.

OK, I like eggs and all (with cheese and ketchup and/or hot sauce), but plain egg whites…not so much. Well LA told me about her fantastic idea of mixing the egg whites with oat bran to make a pancake. PANCAKE….now that’s a word that agrees with my palate 🙂

So here’s the result of experiment 1:

Egg white pancake with oatbran and cinnamon

Experiment 2: Grill

My dad got me a charcoal grill for my birthday (not sure why, but oh well). At first, I had another wtf moment because honestly, I have never used one of these contraptions before. I figured it couldn’t be too difficult…charcoal, lighter fluid, and FIRE. I’m a bit of a pyro (jk) so I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. Fortunately, I  did not blow anything up and actually ended up with some pretty damn good burgers, chicken, and veggies.


Experiment 3: Tuna

Canned tuna….something I cannot really get excited about eating. In my past non-figure training Jessica life, I would make a Mediterranean tuna salad with lots of spices and EVOO. My new diet, however, limits my condiments, so I am forced to find a way to spice up my tuna experience. Fortunately, I found a recipe in LA’s diet blog that used tuna, spendla, and Frank’s hot sauce. It sounded really weird, so of course I had to try it. I modified the version and combined salmon, PureVia, Franks and spinach to make a delicious salad. YUMM 🙂

Alright, all the this food talk makes me hungry….time for meat and potatoes!

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Yay, I have survived Week 1! I meet with LA and my training buddy Amy Fisher this morning at the studio for our weekly workout. And whoa, what a workout! Our “warmup” was a circuit of pushups, plank (bringing arms to belly), DB deadlifts, and ab roller. Holy God….after the first 2 rounds I felt like collapsing. I was feeling super out of shape, and glanced over at Amy afraid she was beasting the warmup, while I was working my ass off. She was doing awesome, but I could see struggle in her eyes too. That along with LA’s tasteful soundtrack (we have similar taste in music…I’m sorry but booty music rocks my world during workouts) was wonderful motivation. The session was great and totally challenging.

And now to quote Clark Wilhelm “Sparky” Griswold, Jr…..”Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

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Week 1

This is my first week of the figure training diet and workouts, and honestly it has not been that terrible.  I’m not sure if it’s the novelty of the program or the fact that I am a such a natural competitor (I kid, I kid), but I have actually felt pretty awesome. My energy is up, and my appetite has decreased with the all the protein, and I mean a LOT  of protein. Here is the diet I am following for the first 2 weeks:

Meal One: 1 cup Egg Whites, 55g oatbran
Meal Two: 28g oats ; 1 cup egg whites
Meal Three: 140g chicken; 120g of sweet or white potato
Meal Four: 168g tuna or chicken; 120 g sweet or white potato
Meal Five: 168g tuna with 1 cup green veggie of choice (no peas)
Meal Six: 120g lean ground beef or ground turkey (93%), 1 cup green veggie of
choice (no peas), 1/2c brown rice.

I honestly freaked out when I first saw it, but now I am getting used to it. The only things I really crave are chocolate, peanut butter, alcohol (a glass of Chianti, to be specific), cereal, peanut butter, bread, fruit, peanut butter, a big delicious beer, Skinny Dip yogurt, and oh did I mention peanut butter??

It seems pretty strict now, but according to my trainer,, these foods will not be completely eliminated from my diet. These first 2 weeks are a “hazing process” to get my body used to the low carb/high protein world. Apparently it is working though, I have already dropped 3 pounds. I honestly thought I would gain weight. Along with the protein binge, I have done absolutely no cardio. That means no swimming, biking, or running….crazy right? Instead I am doing things like the 1 arm DB Snatch from hang:


These workouts are pretty intense. I have been hurting oh so good this week. Who knew one could become so sore from multiple reps of lunges, lifts and planks….but thus far I am loving it.  It is nice to have a new goal in my life that does not include running or biking for hours on end by myself. I think I am going to meet some pretty cool people through this training too….Leigh Ann already signed me for a blog where all her previous competitors post recipes and what not that helped them survive.

 One includes tuna, splenda, and Frank’s hot sauce….yummm

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What the F@#k did I get myself into?!

In case you didn’t know, yours truly has decided to compete in a figure competition. “What is a figure competition?” you ask. It is pretty much bodybuilding but I am NOT going to turn into a freak show (females cannot naturally get huge, and trust me, I am staying away from the doping). So here you go, according to the NPC (National Physique Committee), I will be judged on the following:

”Judges look for the Total Package – the balance of size, symmetry and muscularity. There are, however, limits to the size of the muscles and the degree of muscularity that are acceptable. Competitors must maintain a feminine look. Extreme hardness and extreme muscle size is not acceptable.”


POSE#3 – SIDE CHEST POSE (either side)

FUN right?? We’ll see…..but if you want a good laugh, come see me compete in April.

I will be orange and prancing around in a bikini and heels. I know, typical…

Here is the before/after I am hoping to achieve: 




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