Food Porn

I saw this today and started salivating immediately….God get me through this…..

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Phase: Cutting= Phase: Crazy Bitch

You heard it….I’m on the final leg to the figure competition, and it is getting REAL- real tough and real ugly.  I currently work out at least 6 days a week (adding 2 workouts/2 days a week) and trying to stick to my lean 6 meals/day. Currently, this is what a typical day looks like for me:

9 am: Wakeup and Meal 1 (1 cup egg whites/55 gram oatbran)

11 am: Workout (legs 2x week, chest and biceps 1x week, back and triceps 1 x week, cardio 2x week, crazy workout and posing practice w LA 1x week)

12 pm: Meal 2 (2 scoops whey protein/0.5 cup berries)

2 pm: Work and meal 3 (1 cup egg whites/140 gram sweet potato)

5 pm: Meal 4 (140 grams lean beef/0. 5 cup rice/1 cup green veggies)

8 pm: Meal 5 (140 grams tuna/140 grams sweet potato)

11 pm: Off work and meal 6 (140 grams chicken/1 cup green veggies)

12-1 pm: BED

Yeah, it’s not impossible but it’s not exactly easy either. Between the monotony of the diet, work and my body wanting to sleep all the time, I have been a bit of a crazy bitch. Today I went off at the old creepy man at the gym (he totally deserved it) but I am usually not so hasty to bitch out the elderly. I have also been a bit short with my close friends and family (they love me anyway :)….i hope). Ahhh….I will make it though. I am trying to just keep my spirits up and focus on the positives, like my progress. I randomly check myself using the body analysis at my gym- it is not the most accurate (body fat fluactes with hyrdation level, time of the month, etc) but I do see POSITIVE improvement which makes me happy 🙂

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Another Craving….

Believe it or not, most of my cravings (except pizza of course) have subsided.  Unfortunately, this week I have started to have yet another….alcohol. Beer, wine, beer, wine- I’m not much into liquor but beer and wine- YES! I could really use a few glasses of either these days.  I’m not a huge party girl any more these days (though I can still break it down…), but I do like a buzz from time to time. Not to mention, I have been feeling more stressed these days. Well, I guess sometimes it’s just nice to get a little shit faced and forgot your problems sometimes. Alas, April 17…….


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Farticus Maximus

Why do you go to the gym? Workout, socialize, pickup dates??  I think most people go for more than just one reason. For me, there are two: 1. killer workout 2. stress-relief. Yes, I stress. Most people think I am a laid back person, but I don’t think I really would be without exercise. When I go to the gym, I workout hard and demolish anxiety.  If I could not do this everyday, I am pretty sure I would be a nightmare to be around…..

But back to my original question, why does the rest of the world go to the gym? I am pretty positive that it is not for the same reasons I do. Let me discuss a few of my favorite characters to clarify:

  • Elly May:  Don’t get too excited- she may think she looks like Elly May Clampett, but the poor girl really needs to invest in some larger gym clothes. Hell, she needs to just invest in gym clothes. Everytime I see this clown she’s dressed in super short denims with her bleach blonde hair in pigtails and a covered in a shit ton of makeup.  I am really not sure what her motive is but I can assure you it is NOT exercise. Come to think of it, I don’t think I have every seen her pick up a weight or put her foot on a treadmill. It’s one thing if you actually look good and prance around, but Elly May, you need to lose the costume and do something better for your ass.
  • Insecurity: Speaking of prancing, Insecurity happens to be a master of it as well, but unlike Elly, Insecurity actually looks  good. I mean it wouldn’t her to attempt a workout or two, but she definitely has potential. Unfortunately, Insecurity is too consumed with watching her boyfriend EVERY passing second at the gym.  Seriously, she will prance around for awhile then go ask her boyfriend to tell her how good she looks (or at least that’s what I assume while I am beside them jamming and sweating like a mutha).  Idk….maybe she does get a workout because it’s honestly exhausting to watch.  Insecurity, if you’re that unsure of yourself- DO SOMETHING! Following around your boyfriend like a puppy dog is just pathetic, and chances are he’s just going to dump for someone else that can actually bench a few like Hair Flip…
  • Hair Flips: Yes plural- there are two of them. These girls aren’t quite as bad as Elly and Insecurity because OMG they actually exercise. Not a lot- heaven forbid they break a sweat and mess up their perfectly curled and styled hair. Ok ok, I might sound like a jealous bitch right now because I a bit of one. They really do have gorgeous hair, but for the gym it’s a bit much.  I would just really like to see them actually do something besides lift 5 pound dumbells and flip their hair, but then again who I am to talk. I’m the creeper writing about these characters…

I’m not that much of a stalker. I just see these people quite frequently and can’t help but wonder about them. The rest of the gym members are pretty impressive. My favorite are the older people though. I get to see more of them these days now that I am working second shift and go to the gym in morning. There are two elderly ladies that are always there lifting, stretching, and working out with the exercise ball. I also see lots of people on the treadmills and elipticals. And today I saw and heard the older lady beside me in pilates. We were doing one move called the bicycle (basically air pedalling), and this poor woman was letting them rip. Everytime she moved I heard her, and it was all I could do to keep from giggling. I’m not a mean person- I am just pretty sure this will be me in the near future, Farticus Maximus….

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You Are What You Eat…

I realize I have been blogging quite a bit this week, but I’ve had a lot on my mind. Not really- just two of my passions, sleeping and eating. I’ve been doing pretty good with both lately, but I want more.  The diet is fine- my chocolate/alcohol/peanut butter cravings have subsided- I just want more of the clean food, especially meat.  So yes, I have been thinking about meat a lot lately.  Steaks,  burgers, meat pizza, anything wrapped in bacon….these are my newest cravings.  I want tomorrow’s cheat meal to look something like this…

Mmm…enough about my diet though. It’s working for me, so I want to talk about the rest of the world.  People ask me about food and working out, and I get a lot of comments like these:

  • “You workout everyday, so you can eat whatever you want”: WRONG- Unless you’re burning calories like Michael Phelps or have super awesome genes, then diet is still very important. In fact, for weight loss or figure training, it’s equally  important to working out.  I’m not saying you should go and try to starve yourself (I eat ~1800 calories a day over a course of 6 meals), but you should definitely watch what you eat if you’re striving to lose weight or tone up. Exercise definitely helps, but it will only take you so far.
  • “I don’t have time to workout”: WRONG- Please, please, please don’t use this excuse. You don’t want to workout? Fine, I can believe and respect that. There are days when I am tired and busy and don’t want to workout. Insufficient time is an excuse. Do you ever watch TV, complain about your day, browse the Internet?? If yes, then you have time to workout. You can get an OK workout in 15 minutes, moderate in 30 and an intense calorie burn in an hour. Pushups, squat jumps, planks, situps- hell you can do all these at home without even using equipment.
  • “I don’t have time to eat healthy”: WRONG- I thought about this the other day when I forgot to pack my tuna dish. I stopped at the gas station, and guess what I found?? Tuna snack pack and apple- the perfect on the go meal. So again, there are convenient healthy foods, just maybe not what you want to eat.

There you have it- if the wino/chocoholic/peanut butter fiend can find a way to eat healthy, then anyone can. You just have to WANT it.

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I Dream of Sleep….

Sleep, I love it these days. “Sleep when you’re dead”- hell no, I plan do it as much as possible now. Cat naps, power naps, sleeping until the afternoon, they are all so amazing. I used to look at the need for sleep as a form of weakness, but now I realize it’s quite the opposite. It helps repair, rejuvenate and replenish my body. Not to mention, I am a complete wreck without it. I honestly think I need 9-10 hours a night (I rarely get that) to be fully functional. I am fine with 8, and okay with 7. Anything less than 7 turns me into a complete biatch and/or ditz (yes, lack of sleep is my excuse). So there you have it- I freaking love sleep. I think my next plan of action will be to find a way to incorporate into daily activities more….how does The Cuddle Cafe sound??

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good: The past week or so I have been really loving my training. I love going to the gym with my ipod and jamming/working my ass off for an hour. I love the benefits of eating clean and not feeling like crap after a meal. And mostly I love hearing people tell me how good I look (wow….that sounds conceited but it’s the truth).  Seriously, what is the purpose in working for something if you can’t enjoy the benefits?? Today, for instance, I was getting ready for work at the gym and older lady approached me, “Well, I’m finally glad to see someone in those jeans who can actually pull off that style.”  Caught off guard, I smiled and asked what she meant exactly (I was wearing some old Target jeans and wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic or not). “You know, I see so many young girls wearing those low cut jeans with the muffin tops hanging out, but you look good!” It wasn’t much but totally made my day- like I said, when you work hard, it’s GOOD to see the results 🙂

The Bad: Figure training is definitely not everyone (hell I still continue to wonder if it’s really for me or not). Yes, you will see awesome results if you stick with it, but that is the key point- you must stick with it.  The first few weeks seem pretty terrible- no junk food, no booze, soreness, extreme cravings.  After that,  it definitely gets easier, but it’s still work. For instance,  I was in training for work last week and faced some challenges with the diet. While most people enjoyed going out to eat, I was forced to bring my pre-measured meals. Since I really don’t give a shit of what people think  about what I eat (another requirement of figure training), it didn’t bother me to bring my own food. It does seem to bother others, however. I had quite a few people comment on the smell of my tuna with Frank’s or why I was eating a whole chicken breast when cookies were being passed around. Not everything is glamorous in figure training. You have to suffer through the BAD, to look so good 🙂

The Ugly:  As I probably mentioned before, I eat a shit ton of protein.  The normal recommended protein consumption is 0.8g/kg body weight. I am currently consuming about 2g/kg (if not more- this was some rough guestimating).  With all this extra protein consumption,  it is very important to stay well hydrated. Why?? Well, when the body consumes too much protein it converts the excess amino acids into urea which is excreted through urine and sweat.  So along with eating lots of protein, I also have to take lots of pee breaks. As you can imagine, this isn’t great on the kidneys which is why I don’t think it’s healthy to invest in this type of diet permanently . So there you have it,  you might get really pissed off when training to look GOOD 🙂

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The Good Life

Besides working 11+ hour days, this week has been pretty awesome. I have been enjoying lots of new foods, a bit of rest and some fun workouts in between. People keep asking me if I’m going to do another competition and if I’m still on my diet. Answers- competition: yes (but it’s gonna be a few months– I really need a mental, physical break); diet: no not really. I am still trying to eat clean, healthy meals but they are much more delish than rinsed tuna and green beans. (I have also added some not-so healthy ones but I freaking deserve them!) I put quite a dent in my checkbook this weekend and went to Trader Joe’s to stock up for the week. Below are some pics of the foods I have been enjoying….


Heaven aka Dante’s Inferno from Lilly’s Pizza


Reese’s PB eggs….someone knows the way to this girl’s heart 🙂


Protein Mocha shake (2 scoops protein, 1 T instant coffee….great pick-me-up)


Fresh strawberries after I became poster girl for Ball strawberries (story for another blog…)


PB2…for people like me that think all other food is just an accessory to PB (1/3 of the calories of regular PB and taste great……)


Steak chili (1 lb round steak browned in pan, with onions, garlic, peppers and herbs. Throw in a crockpot for 1-1.5 hours and add water until desired consitency reached)


Protein waffles (1/2 cup oatbran, 1 cup eggwhites, 1 tsp baking soda…cook in waffle maker and top with SF syrup and berries) 


Turkey meatloaf (2 lbs ground turkey, 3 egg whites,  chopped small onion and 2 stalks celery, 1 cup oats, herbs/spices…combine and cook for 40 min at 375)


Greek yogurt topped with fresh berries and almonds


Quinoa and polenta…yummy carbs



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New Year….New Craziness

The new year has been fast and furious. I can’t believe I only have 4 months until the figure competition. While this seems like adequate time to prepare, I still have a lot to do. The diet and exercise are coming along pretty well, but I think I still have to drop ~ 5% body fat (doesn’t seem like too much….hopefully some intense cardio workouts will help too). My biggest concern is the stage presence- posing and attire. I started practing posing last week with LA and I must say I have never felt so unnatural at something. I’m hoping that somehow once I put on the heels and competition suit, it will all just come together, but this is highly unlikely. I have been in contact with a lady from Florida (thanks to motivation from Amy) regarding my suit. She has some nice ones on her website but again, all the ones I deem ‘classy’ are out of my price range for a shiny bikini. I did discover that she will sale me a basic suit and some crystals, allowing me to design my own $600 suit for around $100…..time to get crafty!

So speaking of crafty, my latest obsession has been a mosaic table. I don’t know why I have such a freaking hard time with moderation, but this table has been taking over my life the past week. Fortunately, I am almost finished and will hopefully have a beautiful coffee table to adorn my cute little apartment. This is what I have done thus far…


I have 2 more colors to cut and glue and then the whole grout and sealing process. I have  never done any of this before, and it has been quite a challenge….blood, sweat and tears to say the least. No worries- I will be putting fotos on FB of the completed project with some more descriptions of the mosaic adventure.

Otherwise, life has been about the same chaos. I am currently working second shift so my whole sleep, eat, workout routine has been a little crazy. The other night I left work at 11, worked out and finished up at 12:30, and then ate my last meal of the day (I guess I could’ve done the workout in the morning but I was too obsessed with glass cutting). I really need to work on getting a better schedule, but I must say that I do love sleeping in….I’ve spent a year and a half getting up at 5:30 or earlier and I still HATE.HATE.HATE mornings. I have also discovered a new caffeine obsession besides coffee- Cherry Coke Zero (diet sodas are really not that bad in moderation). Unfortunately, I really have a hard time moderating these.  After a long day of work, I just want to pop up open a nice cold one and chill…….

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What Happened to Being an Athlete??

I’ve had a few people ask me why I gave up being an “athlete” to train for a figure competition.  Well, first of all, let me clarify by saying that I am still indeed an athlete.  (athlete, according to Webster dictionary:  a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina).  I train, workout and compete….so yeah, it’s all there.  Now to answer your question about giving up the whole triathlon world is pretty simple- I am burned the F out.  I have mad respect for runners and triathletes. The training, racing and and self-discipline is completely taxing both mentally and physically. I also consider completing marathons and a half-ironman some of my biggest life accomplishments. But they are just that- accomplishments. At this point, doing another big race would just be torture. Yes, I did at one point have the goal to complete an ironman by the time I am 30, but right now, I have no such desire.  For me, it is just a selfish cause. I can’t be around my friends and family- instead I would be stuck running and cycling for hours on end. I am not saying that I condemn the ironman triathletes- not at all, it is completely astonishing. It’s just that my social life and key interests do not really incorporate that. I like working out (in “moderation” 1-2 hours a day is plenty for me), cooking and looking good (sorry, call me narcissitic but we all know that when you look good you feel good). Figure training incorporates all these. I get to cook a ton, lift and do fun circuits and one day I will be bronze and beautiful (aka orange and shiny).  Yeah, I know I am probably not pursuing the most noble cause on earth, but at least it keeps out of trouble….for now 🙂

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